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We Have A Surplus, Mr President

The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of this site. This site does not give financial, investment or medical advice.

Mr President, I’ve just got the latest figures from downstairs, and we’re better off than we thought.

How better off?

Well, we have a surplus of $40 billion.

Forty billion, are you sure?

Yes, Mr President. 

What do you propose we do with it?

Well, I’ve done some quick calculations, and I’ve come up with the following:

$2 billion to secure the Southern Border.

We have an urgent shortage of baby formula, so I suggest we spend $3 billion on acquiring more and on investing in firms to produce more domestically.

Half a billion to each of the fifty states to house the homeless, prioritising families, then the under 25s, then women.

$5 billion to invest in new, clean technologies, this will create thousands of new, high paying jobs without damaging the current oil, coal and gas industries.

That will leave us with $5 billion. What do you think, President?

Thank you, Jackson, leave it to me.

Yes, Mr President.

Goodbye Jackson.

Er, yes Mr President, goodbye.

Hello, Karine, tell the press we’re sending $40 billion in aid to Ukraine. We must get our priorities right.

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The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of this site. This site does not give financial, investment or medical advice.

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penrose
penrose
May 20, 2022

Are we still scanning space for signs of intelligent life? Have we found intelligent life on Earth? Where and when? I must have missed the story. We should also search for sane life. On and off the Earth. How would we recognize these if we found them?

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