Obama wants $500M to fund “good” jihadists in Syria. Questionnaire will help weed out the “bad” jihadists.

The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of this site. This site does not give financial, investment or medical advice.

Just when you thought Obama’s foreign policy couldn’t get any worse, this news comes in from Reuters:

President Barack Obama, under pressure from some lawmakers to provide more help to Syria’s opposition, asked the U.S. Congress on Thursday to approve $500 million to train and equip moderate Syrian rebels seeking to oust President Bashar al-Assad.

It was the administration’s most tangible move yet to help beleaguered Assad opponents who have been frustrated at a lack of U.S. assistance after Obama stepped back from launching air strikes on Syria nearly a year ago.

Senior Obama administration officials have long debated how best to help rebels in Syria’s three-year-old civil war, which is showing signs of spilling over into neighboring Iraq.

A White House statement said Syrian rebels would be “appropriately vetted” before being given assistance, in what amounts to an effort to assuage concerns that some equipment provided to the Syrian opposition might ultimately fall into the hands of U.S. enemies.

The questions that need to be asked with this latest request for funds to arm more ‘rebels’ in Syria are plenty.

  • Is this a move to distract attention away from the Iraq debacle by reigniting the Syrian conflict?
  • Is Obama now purposely trying to support the Sunni ISIS group and by association the Sunni Saudi Arabian Kingdom, by attacking Syria, a state that is openly against a Sunni presence in the region?
  • Or is Obama and his foreign policy team just that incompetent when it comes to the Middle East?

It’s a perplexing request made by Obama. There must be some reason in restarting the Syrian conflict given Assad has all but won the war and is now, as we speak, aiding the U.S. installed Iraqi Shiite government of Nouri al-Maliki in trying to repel ISIS.

Logically, Syria is now on the same side as the U.S. when it comes to trying to defeat the radical jihadists group and save Iraq. Why then does Obama want to re-escalate the conflict in Syria by arming the very same rebels he armed last year, who in turn were ISIS militants, who then did an about face and marched down towards Baghdad, robbing banks, taking oil fields, and stealing U.S. military hardware, in their quest to create a Sunni caliphate state?

It’s all so confusing…but wait we forgot to mention, this time Obama will properly vet the jihad fighters before giving them the $500M to begin fighting Assad, again.

Zerohedge shines some light on the latest dumb dumb move by Obama and Co:

…didn’t Obama do just this a year ago only to find that the arms were going into the hands of Al Qaeda extremists – essentially the same ones the US will be waging war against any minute in Iraq? Well yes. But this time Obama has a fail safe plan.

Oh, it’s just the “moderate” terrorists Obama will be arming. Not the more radical types. But how Obama will make the distinction? Well, that’s what polling is all about. To wit: “Excuse me, would you describe yourself as a moderate or extreme al-Qaeda jihadist. Answering affirmatively to the former assures you your own US-made Humvee and a few thousand bullets to shoot at US soldiers across the border in Iraq.”

While we wish we were joking, this sadly describes the current all too real state of US diplomacy in the middle east.

Sad indeed, that U.S. taxpayers will now be billed for another $500 million to fund more extremists who will in turn, turn on the U.S.  At least this time Obama has a magic questionnaire that will help The State Department distinguish between the evil guys and the good guys.

The New Yorker’s Andy Borowitz gives us a sneak peak at the questions that may be asked to local jihadists. Here is the The Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form:

Welcome to the United States’ Moderate Syrian Rebel Vetting Process. To see if you qualify for $500 million in American weapons, please choose an answer to the following questions:

As a Syrian rebel, I think the word or phrase that best describes me is:
A) Moderate
B) Very moderate
C) Crazy moderate
D) Other

I became a Syrian rebel because I believe in:
A) Truth
B) Justice
C) The American Way
D) Creating an Islamic caliphate

If I were given a highly lethal automatic weapon by the United States, I would:
A) Only kill exactly the people that the United States wanted me to kill
B) Try to kill the right people, with the caveat that I have never used an automatic weapon before
C) Kill people only after submitting them to a rigorous vetting process
D) Immediately let the weapon fall into the wrong hands

I have previously received weapons from:
A) Al Qaeda
B) The Taliban
C) North Korea
D) I did not receive weapons from any of them because after they vetted me I was deemed way too moderate

I consider ISIS:
A) An existential threat to Iraq
B) An existential threat to Syria
C) An existential threat to Iraq and Syria
D) The people who will pick up my American weapon after I drop it and run away

Complete the following sentence. “American weapons are…”
A) Always a good thing to randomly add to any international hot spot
B) Exactly what this raging civil war has been missing for the past three years
C) Best when used moderately
D) Super easy to resell online

Thank you for completing the Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form. We will process your application in the next one to two business days. Please indicate a current mailing address where you would like your weapons to be sent. If there is no one to sign for them we will leave them outside the front door.



The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of this site. This site does not give financial, investment or medical advice.

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Sergei Zakharoff
Sergei Zakharoff
October 3, 2015

Couldn’t agree more to this article.
The Moderate Syrian Rebel Application Form is simply brilliant, jihadists approve.

The hamster spinning in the head of U.S. deputy spokesperson Marie Harf

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