My Russian bride experience. What to look out for when finding love in the former USSR

Privet! With the explosion of online dating sites, the interest in Russian brides has grown significantly over the last decade. What’s not to like?  Russian woman are hot, sexy, believe in traditional values and are completely focused on pleasing their man. Better yet (for most western men seeking a beautiful companion), there’s a real shortage of men in Russia, and that means demand outweighs supply. Now, more than ever, beautiful Russian women are searching for enduring love and a new cultural experience in the good ole’ U.S.A.

Yes, I married one of these Russian beauties and “Man Code” dictates that I warn my brethren about the possible dangers and traps that I experienced with my Russian bride. 

Just to set the record straight (an not to brag) — I  feel obligated to tell you that I wasn’t desperate and that I am, by all accounts, a good looking, ripped dude, who brings in a solid income of cash flow. Stateside, I get hit on by American women all the time. I just simply could not resist the overwhelming sensuality and adoration unique to Russian women.

But as with all things of beauty, sometimes darkness lies below the surface. So here are my top ten major reasons to stay faraway from the Russian bride.  Remember men all that glitters is not gold…you’ve been warned. Russian brides dating sites give us women that are…

1. Takers
It’s not really their fault, this was the nature of what was the then Soviet Union. It was a tough place to live, where being resourceful was a prerequisite to survive.  The Russian bride has acute survival reflexes that are so prevalent that she will literally label her food in the refrigerator. This was clue number one that the Russian bride dream was more about an economic arrangement than matrimonial love.

2. Always comparing game — ALL THE TIME
Russian brides constantly remind you about how much money their friends’ husbands make. Social value is extremely important and is measured in cold hard cash…and just when you think you earn enough, she wants more. Constant reminders of others’ riches in the form Facebook pictures of her friends’ jewellery, cars and private jets are the preferred method of humiliation or motivation (depending from which side you view things).

3. In-law airbnb
If you think that you are marrying only the Russian bride, well you are in for a rude awakening. With the hotness that is the Russian bride, comes all the in-laws crashing with you for months at a time. Seriously, the in-laws would stay with us for 3 or more months in one go. So while she’s riding your ass to make more money, her folks are back home, gearing up to move in with you and add some support to the mule whipping that becomes your existence.

4. She despises Thanksgiving dinner!
OK, I admit it…I love my American holidays. This is my culture and we are living in my country, so logic dictates that your significant other takes notice to learn and care about her new home and its customs…not a chance. Unless the spread consists of borscht or red caviar, she ain’t biting. Imagine, after cooking all day (and I mean you), she will take a spoonful of potatoes, eat items that were meant to garnish and pick at the rest. To add insult to injury, she will sip champagne while texting her friends back home about how dumb American holidays are. No respect!

5. Your home but not your stuff
When marrying a Russian bride remember one thing…what was your home, your furniture, your decoration, is yours no more. When the Russian brides steps into the house, it’s her style and furnishings or the highway.

6. Russians chics stick together, and you are not welcome to join
After your 10th dinner party, standing in the corner with your thumb up your ass because no one will speak to you will leave you thinking twice about that cute, but militant, American girl at the office.

7. They never floss
I admit it, this one is a bit off, but I believe in rock solid dental hygiene and flossing. Fuck it, that’s my deal. My Russian bride was smoking hot, but her teeth sucked, and what was really annoying was that she did not give a crap about it. I once hid the dental floss, she never inquired as to where it went.

8. Materialistic and entitled
My Russian bride and her BFF’s could not grasp the idea of equal opportunity, not equal outcome. Everything was about Prada, Chanel and Gucci. The emphasis placed on wearing ‘the cool brands’ simply got old, dated and shallow.

9. Techno music that will drive you bat shit crazy
Screw it, I love rock and roll and dive bar, live band nights. She hated that crap. For my Russian bride it was all about techno music, big bottle champagne service, and high end techno dance clubs.  Not my thing.

10. The superiority complex
The constant ‘back in Russia’ one-upmanship simply got old hat. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of great culture, inventions, and contributions have come from Russia, but you simply can’t to go to somebody else’s country, get married, enjoy the many perks of living in the USA, and then shit all over it.

Red Pill Lesson:  Marry for all the right reasons and don’t let any women ride you like a rented mule!

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The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Duran.

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June 30, 2014

DAAAAAAAAAAAMMM Jimmy! NO Thanksgiving!?! WTH. Did she at least like Christmas?

Reply to  FlapJack
June 30, 2014

Everyone loves Christmas…nice gifts help

Jebpmarine Hafey
Jebpmarine Hafey
April 25, 2016

Thanks for the heads up I’m a pretty good looking Thai guy who was raised on American standards air force brat. I have been looking for a Russian Princess. Not now. Maybe I’ll date in my own race Thai ladies.

October 12, 2017

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