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Trump is the New Obama

A lot of people seem to take the US presidential campaign way too seriously. They are ignoring the fundamental fact, that US politicians are not that different from each other.

Both Obama and Trump have five letter names (important qualification for an American politician; it still beats me how Roosevelt or Eisenhower have ever managed to win a campaign). Being rather similar, the candidates alternate depending on the amount of syllables in their name: Reagan (2)– Bush (1); Clinton (2)–Bush (1); Obama (3) – Trump or Clinton (1 or 2, but surely not three). I think the amount of syllables in the candidate last name is a much more serious indicator of a winner, than the predictions of polls or pundits.

Since the average amount of syllables in a winning name appears to be two, I predict it would be Trump, to even out three syllables of Obama. For those who view the perspective of Trump replacing Obama with trepidation, however, here are some words of consolation. Trump is Obama in disguise:

1. Both Obama and Trump are masters of public relations with an uncanny knack for telling people what they want to hear. Their audience might be different, but it is the same old “hope” thing. Trump, to his credit, has a record of both failures and success. Obama had none when he entered White House, and none on the way out. But grand sum of both is about zero.

2. Both Obama and Trump, while on campaign trail, are very diligently promoting to end wars through the means of diplomacy, negotiations, and sheer power.

3. Both claim to be different from your mainstream candidates– despite the fact that both surely have at least one foot within establishment – be it the educational and liberal elite on the one hand, or money elite on the other.

4. They both had very little political experience. One was a community organizer in Chicago, another, an organizer of retired billionaires in Florida.

5. They both use their wives for political purposes.

6. They both are blatantly divisive – despite their professed ambitions of bringing Americans together.

7. Being a white politician, Obama disguised himself as black. Being smart and savvy, Trump disguises himself as hick.

8. Both are narcissists and sociopaths; Trump is erring more in the first department; the Obama in the second. Holier than though hypocrisy is clearly the strong suit of Obama, blatant sincerity is the disguise that Trump wears.

9. Obama is bullying Russians and bombs people in Middle East, Trump is bullying Mexicans and threatens to bomb Middle East.

10. Ostracizing squeamish Europeans, Trump destroyed his chances of getting a Nobel Peace Prize. But it is a high time to establish Kalashnikov Peace Prize. And award it to Trump. I hope Putin is getting on the act.

Conclusion. Obama liberals, vote for Trump: you won’t be disappointed. Or at least, stop preaching about Trump’s evils and the decline of the American democracy.

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The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Duran.

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