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Do you love?

This article presents what love is and explains its misunderstandings. Also, it teaches people how to love unconditionally.

The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of this site. This site does not give financial, investment or medical advice.

As much as I know, only Erich Fromm wrote a popular scientific book about love. I have studied his work entirely and may say that his book “The Art of Love” presents an excellent psychological analysis of love, which contributed significantly to its understanding. Fromm has influenced my work greatly. In this essay, I have not quoted him because his psychological study of love cannot successfully build love among people. He has based the creation of love on the consciousness of people, and that was never an efficient path. I have defined a socio-political method based on equal human rights, which will make people love unconditionally. Love will create a healthy society and a wonderful world beyond the wildest dreams today. This article presents how to do it.


Love is the most significant achievement a person can realize in their lives. Love is a state of mind based on the equality of people, mutual care, and eagerly giving help. Love is the condition of the soul that enriches the person and therefore, the world. A person who loves carries a feeling of inner peace, stability, lightness and joy of living, and that is how they can be identified. In natural society, love is a spontaneous act that develops on its own. In a society alienated from its nature such as the one we live in, we do not know how to love each other enough. You dear readers most likely think that you can love and you are right because there is not one person who is not able to love at least a little bit. But if you think that your love is high enough, then please read this article from start to finish, and you might be assured of the contrary.


What people today mostly call love is actually narcissism. Narcissistic people adore their images, their character, their deeds and especially their great happiness that brings them success in society. They enjoy their abilities, their thoughts, their beauty, their characteristics, their family, their nation, and everything that is connected to them. They value themselves more than other people, and that is what develops the narcissistic aspect of their character. Narcissism presents a person falling in self-love. In the idealization of their personalities, narcissistic people often consider themselves very modest. For this reason, it is challenging for a man to recognize the narcissistic character in himself.

Does narcissism contain love in itself? I would say that it does not, but the problem is, in fact, semantic. If one can say, “I love chocolate,” where the term “love” actually means “enjoy,” then one can stretch the meaning of love to narcissism but in an inferior form. Narcissism and love are separate categories as their names speak. All people possess both characteristics; however, the man who loves more is less narcissistic and vice versa. In the following pages, I will call the people who have more developed narcissistic characteristics as the narcissistic people even though they can love, but their abilities to love are less developed.

If a narcissistic man exercises his wishes successfully, then he feels great love for the whole world, but this love is an illusion. When a narcissistic man is unable to achieve his intentions, then he will deflate like a balloon into depression and will hate the whole world. A narcissistic man is quite unstable, and that is how he can be recognized. A natural man loves continuously. If the world does not match the needs of the natural man, he does not hate; he is just saddened. Love creates benefits to the man who loves and to the world around him, while narcissism can hardly achieve that. Narcissism will rather create evil to the narcissistic man and to the world around him.

Narcissistic people are very ambitious. If you actively want to become a boss or any authority; if your primary goal in life is to earn money, win a contest, or something similar, you are a pretty narcissistic person. You strongly prefer to compete, and even more so, to win! Your ego and narcissus are hungry. You have great opportunities to win, but it gives you less chance to love. You need love! Then you will not have a great need to compete. People who love base their mutual relations less on competitions and more on agreements. These examples only tell you how much you can love, but it cannot at all help you to love more. If you give up from ambitions or competitions that do not mean at all that you will begin to love more. The problem of knowing how to love does not depend on the wishes of the people; it is located deep in the psyche of a person, which is built throughout their entire life.

A narcissistic man is very subjective and tends to give his successes greater importance than they deserve. The narcissistic culture has overly raised very superficial forms of value such as power, wealth, fame, beauty, strength, speed, etc. In today’s society, these have become the most valuable goals. These values are objectively not so high, but the alienated society has put them on the pedestal. They are alienated, and as such cannot bring lasting benefits to individuals nor to society as a whole. On the contrary, those values usually carry all the opposite. These values destroy the long-term possibility of creating benefits in society.

If a narcissistic person is very successful in his society like famous singers, actors or politicians are, then the narcissus in him can shine for a long time. Such successes may form an illusion of overcoming man’s powerlessness in nature, and therefore, the narcissistic happiness may be pretty intense, and as such, it can easily deceive a man into thinking that he is on the right track. Narcissistic happiness is not good because it is primarily based on illusions. Taking into account that the narcissistic man overestimates himself and underestimates everything that surrounds him, he often comes in contradiction with the objective reality. Life shows a narcissistic man sooner or later that his capabilities are not as significant as he wants, that he is not quite as perfect as he would like to be, that his youth and beauty have passed. New, smarter, stronger, more skilled people always appear, and they threaten the superior vision of the narcissistic man, which brings severe disappointment to him. Any happiness a man exercises undeservedly by the help of illusions will come back as payment in the form of pain. Narcissistic people often try to find escapes from extreme tension by drinking alcohol and taking drugs and thus they can be recognized.

Narcissistic happiness alienates a man from objective reality. Such a man loses respect towards other people and reduces the chance to reach the natural advantages in the relationships with other people so that he minimizes the opportunity to love. Only love can elevate men from these kinds of problems, but narcissistic people do not know enough love to be able to balance themselves.

Narcissistic people strive to be the strongest, the smartest, the most beautiful, the best in any sense, and hardly tolerate the competition that may threaten their vision. Therefore, narcissistic men clash with each other easily. It can be said that virtually all conflicts in society are based on the narcissistic character of a man. By their subjective vision, narcissistic people can identify threats to their alienated needs as threats to their real existence. It induces the fight between narcissistic people for the survival of their illusions. The more narcissistic people are, the more brutal their conflicts are. All the cruelty of this world comes from endangered narcissism. An injured narcissism causes a very destructive orientation of the narcissistic man. Such a person can fall into depression, which can be developed to the needs of self-destruction or create hatred that can be extended to the needs of the destruction of the world.

Narcissism is primarily developed by the privileged statuses of people in society because those people have realized the feeling of superior power in society almost effortlessly. I wrote more about this in the article Privileges are Evil. One can generalize that the more privileged people are, the more narcissistic they are. Spoiled children, excellent students, people in positions are generally more privileged, and that most likely means, more narcissistic. But the differences are often only in nuances because every person can build an illusion of power or privileges in a world of their thoughts. Almost all people possess some narcissistic traits of character because our alienated culture teaches us to be narcissistic. The less narcissistic person is a healthier person for himself and society as a whole. In this article, I will try to demonstrate that the more narcissistic man loves less.

Love of authorities

Higher skilled people develop knowledge which improves society, and that makes them authorities. Right authorities impact society by their positive example and help other people when they are asked to do so. They do not impose their opinions, knowledge, or values to other people. Such people are a high rarity today.

There are wrong authorities as well. These are the people who strive to achieve the privileged status of authority because this status gives them power over people, along with considerable alienated benefits. Such power develops the narcissistic character of people. Narcissistic authorities propagate their subjective values and knowledge to the community with the primary objective of reinforcing their privileged statuses. People who do not know are helpless and are prone to give authorities greater importance than they objectively deserve and therefore they accept the subjective knowledge of authorities. Wrong authorities through the history of humankind have created a vast amount of utterly unnecessary knowledge that society has adopted. Such knowledge is alienated, false, wrongful, and therefore prevents the natural development of society. I wrote more about it in the article My Clash with Sciences.


The alienated society readily accepts the culture that favours the development of wrong authorities and diminishes the power of people. Authorities and their followers build a stable mutual relationship, which might look like love. Specifically, authorities need subordinated people because they help them to establish their status and high power. Subordinated people are very connected to the authorities because it is often more convenient for them to subordinate themselves to the authorities than to be left by themselves in the terrifying world. But the relationship between authority and follower is only an illusion of love. If we extend the meaning of love very much, then such love is at least entirely undeveloped. However, I would label it as a very perverted concept of love. The relationship based on the servility of subordinate people and the control of authority always represents some level of a sadomasochistic relationship, and because of it, it’s very unproductive. A sadist is a person who finds pleasure in the domination of other people that on the way to achieve higher benefits can be developed to extreme brutality. A masochist finds pleasure in the subjugation to authorities until the point of complete obedience, which can be developed into enjoyment in the form of pain. A humble masochist, under the guidance of authority, may become a ruthless henchman of the authority.

Today’s society does not know how to love enough but also is not aware that all the evil that is happening in the world stems from a lack of love. Without love, society is becoming very brutal, and as such does not have a good future. Capitalism is brutal. I wrote more about this in the article The End of Capitalism. The brutal capitalist system tries to convince people that brutality is a normal condition. This is achieved by the censorship of humanistic ideas, such as mine, combined with the spreading of brutal messages with the production of brutal films, for example. By watching brutal heroes in brutal movies, brutal people meet their brutal needs and thereby accept the existence of the brutal system as a normal state. Today, to see hundreds of people killed in movies is a normal thing that horrifies no one. People who can easily watch brutal movies have difficulties to love; those who enjoy watching these movies cannot love at all. In today’s world, brutal films are produced the most. For who are they produced?

Millions of people have developed their brutality by living unhappily in an alienated society. These people are potential time bombs that wait for a reason to exercise their brutal needs in real life. Such a phenomenon is impossible in a community that loves. Social scientists often accuse poverty as the primary source of evil around the world. I think that this is not the case, at least not precisely. Today, poor people have higher living standards than kings in the Middle Ages. Material values are not essential. The crucial importance is the alienation of society, unfair distribution of power in society, the privileges that follow it, narcissistic traits of character built on privileges, and the lack of love that arises from all of that. I cannot imagine today that someone in the developed world would commit murder or suicide because they were hungry, but if their narcissistic vanity is violated, that can be expected. The reason for aggression can be any endangered privilege or any unrealized ambition. The economic and moral crisis in which we are all sinking deeper and deeper can influence a large number of people to attack anybody or even the whole society irrationally. They can quickly become monstrous killers.


Narcissistic authorities successfully deceive people by propagating the love of the country or nation. No man will ignore the call of love for his homeland. People who are not satisfied with the way they live would respond to this call even more. That always creates some form of group narcissism, which is manifested in the form of nationalism. Authorities who oppress people and make them dissatisfied through patriotic calls increase the power over the people. Dissatisfied people accept the patriotic invitations of authorities uncritically and become heartless weapons in their hands. Thus, the alienation of people from their nature creates militant foundations for international conflicts and wars. Militant people do not love. People who love do not support wars.

Authorities achieve maximum power by the production of national enemies. A good example is al-Qaida, for which nobody can safely prove whether it exists and if it does exist I do not believe that it has a lot of members because it would otherwise show its strength by numerous terrorist actions in the Western world. By creating the fear of al-Qaida, the American authorities successfully mobilize the American people in the fight against “evil.” In this conflict, the American people lose freedom, uncritically put themselves at the service of authorities, fund wars by their taxes, and lose their lives for the interests of the authorities. The authorities thus become the masters of life and death. People have become completely irrelevant figures for the achievement of “higher goals.” The fear of a few terrorists started the unprovoked wars against Iraq and Afghanistan, the war against 60 million people. The war against terrorism has created the terrorism of the United States against all countries that do not want to subordinate themselves to the American power, culture, politics and economy. The group narcissism of the American citizens allowed the formation of aggressive wars, whose goal is the obedience of disobedient nations, their economies and natural resources. It is difficult for uninformed people to recognize this.

Regardless of your unawareness, if the people, who died in the terrorist attack 9/11, although you know nobody there, affect you more than everyday killings of people in Iraq and Afghanistan produced by the U.S. government, then you are pretty narcissistic and have not developed the ability to love. If you do not judge members of your nation equally with others, members of your family with others, and yourself with others, then you are most likely narcissistic and have not developed the ability to love.


Religious people love God because they expect Him to save them from all evil and lead them to good. They do not believe that they can find the way alone so that they pray to God to do it for them. The awe and humbleness of religious people developed about God certainly carry elements of masochism, which is the opposite of love. The same applies to the love of Jesus, Messiah, Krishna, Buddha and other prophets of God.

Religious people accept love as a great value because their religions preach love, but love cannot be imposed from the outside by any ideology. Making a significant effort in the field of love as religions teach is not sufficient proof of love, because a masochist can try very hard but his undeveloped consciousness will not allow him to find out what love is. Love cannot be the result of awe towards God. Love comes from inside as the product of natural ways of living or is not coming at all. So how can love be recognized with certainty? Love is giving, and if the act of giving brings joy, then one can love. If one finds the act of giving as a duty, then this love is undeveloped, and sooner or later, one will get tired, give up and disappear.

I think that one does not need to cultivate awe for God but respect, which can allow a man to rely on his power in solving his problems. Religious people negate self-consciousness as the need and suppress it in some form of humbleness towards the world around them. The self-awareness of atheists smoothly goes into more negative extremes and becomes “overdeveloped consciousness” because it can quickly turn into a narcissistic illusion of power over the world that surrounds them. A productive person is aware that he is equal with other people and searches for solutions to his and society’s problems by himself. That is how he gets to know love. If I passively waited for the Messiah to save me from evil I would probably not meet Him as no other person has ever met Him, and I would not be able to create a path to a sound and sane society.

Falling in love

Probably the first association that people have to the word love is falling in love. Falling in love is the most famous expression of love today and perhaps the most described and sung term of all time. People often mystify falling in love with magical romantic feelings that rise under no control. I would say that the main characteristic of people who fall in love is fear and hope. Juvenile uncertainty and optimism towards life bring a very high possibility of falling in love.

Young people usually think that for falling in love they need to find an appropriate person and magically romantic love will happen. First, I would like to emphasize that there is nothing magic in the act of falling in love. It is entirely commercial behaviour that gives an illusion of magical performance. Every person knows how much their attractiveness is worth in the alienated market of values because everyday life teaches us that. An appropriate person for love, in reality, is a product of in-depth preparation, calculation and random events. There is almost nothing wrong in it because a person should choose a partner who suits him more. Rational behaviour in the choosing of partners is more than welcome.  But the people who quickly fall in love are pretty narcissistic, and that means not rational. Narcissistic people are not objective so that they are quite foolish and do not recognize correct values in the selection of partners.

When an appropriate person for falling in love appears in the sight of a narcissistic person, high energy of happiness is released that attracts, and if it finds an appropriate response from the other side, a miracle of “love” appears which indulges, and all the brakes release and all the doubts about the acceptability of the partner disappear. The person then feels “the chemistry,” and the whole world becomes beautiful. This miracle situation described in countless songs is just a sweet illusion that occurs as the result of the liberation of considerable uncertainty. There is almost no love here. The person who is confident in himself can hardly fall in love, but he is capable of loving.

Falling in love brings such great happiness that it can be compared to escape death. We fall in love because we feel dead in authoritarian societies that take freedom from us. In the act of falling in love, we release ourselves from complete pressure authorities have imposed on us all of our lives. Falling in love compensates for the feeling of powerlessness among people in society and builds an illusion of power. It brings euphoria and people wrongfully assign it to the “loved” person. This is why falling in love is an illusion.

If we name falling in love as love, it would be a very undeveloped form of love. Falling in love is a product of subjective experience. The success of falling in love is often measured by the quantity of attracted attention that the people who fell in love realize in society. Narcissistic people do not try to get to know the beloved person deeper because such people often do not even know what that means. Falling in love is very superficial, and a person who falls in love often quickly satiates with the loved one. If the emotions towards the loved person end, it was never the love, because love lasts. Love is taught practically the whole life. Getting to know love is, in fact, active learning in practice that brings pleasure. The person who loves does not stop getting to know his or her partner. By getting to know more of their partner, a person learns how to improve the life of his or her partner. That fills him with the joy of love.

People who fall in love often quickly see that their subjective knowledge about their loved ones, as a rule, has almost nothing in common with the character of the loved ones. Disappointment that comes results in the termination of the connection quickly. If a loving pair fell in love with falling in love, if the picture which they make together is precarious to them, then the agony of their love often occurs. The person falling in love with a considerable degree of narcissism often tries to change the loved person and make him or her closer to their needs  which is practically impossible to achieve. Suffering then starts and leads to the development of a very passionate relationship that is opposite to love. Such couples do not leave each other because their perverted pleasure of love keeps them together. Such connections are often followed by hate, and it proves that the relationship was never love. It was just narcissism. Love does not end, but if it does happen, however, it brings sadness only.

Narcissism is selfish, egocentric, possessive, greedy, jealous, and love is not any of that. Jealousy emerges from injured narcissism and love is not jealous. Falling in love can grow to love if partners are not very narcissistic and if they have enough common interest. However, this rarely happens also because the culture of love in today’s society is very undeveloped so that people do not know how to love. Expecting happiness in a marriage that has emerged from a consequence of falling in love is the same as expecting luck in the lottery. We live in such times where people come to rely more on luck than on their brains. That’s why there are so many divorces. There would be even more divorces if there were no fear of change or fear of endangering the narcissistic image of marital harmony that couples present to society. Married couples who hardly regard their partners during the day, who are not happy by the encounter, couples whose ambitions at work are more important than their life partner, certainly do not love each other and this is a great pity for both.

Nothing destroys marriages like violated narcissism among partners. If the marriage ends in dispute in court, then indeed it was not love, it was narcissism. If people leave their spouses because they fell in love with another person, then the short-term illusion has most likely forced them to make a great stupidity, because it causes long-term damage to themselves and the people around them. Namely, the new relationship could hardly be better than the previous one because if a person knows how to love, he or she would not have to seek a new partner and would not have divorced the previous one. Divorce mostly points to an alienated and spiritually poor life of such people.

Many people cannot wait to fall in love. If they knew better, they would avoid the state of falling in love. Falling in love is sweet, but it damages the person who falls in love because the happiness that uncontrollably rises makes it difficult for him or her to objectively see the situation in which he or she is in. Objective people hardly fall in love but are more prone to stay in love. Love is stable and grows over time. Love is the consequence of man’s natural productive orientation. Today, people are generally alienated from this orientation and therefore do not love. The system that I’ve proposed will build natural relationships in a society based on equal human rights. It will develop objectivity which will teach people how to love, and they will love.

Love of children

Love develops from childhood. Love is learned the same way children learn how to walk or talk. Parents who love, give love to children and teach children through their behaviour what love is. If parents do not know what love is, then they cannot teach kids to love. Today’s society is alienated from its nature and therefore, does not know love enough. Lack of love is most often manifested by inadequate care of parents for their children.

In the capitalist system, most people must work all day to cover living needs, so they do not have time to provide children with love to the extent they feel. Capitalism imposes alienated needs, which reduces the free time of people and diminish the ability of parents to raise their children. Capitalism deliberately disintegrates families to get more dependent workers and consumers. This is a political problem of the capitalist society and must be solved by political measures. Schools take over the upbringing of children. The school program is alienated from the nature of children because it is determined by authorities so that children often do not love it. The teachers take over the role of parents. Normally, it’s much harder for teachers to find love for children than parents can because they usually work with children primarily to earn money for a living. Children grow up without enough love.

Furthermore, narcissistic parents are often occupied with their ambitions so that they do not have enough time for their children. It is a great mistake to love their jobs more than their children. Do you spend more time on your career and earning money than on your children? You are then pretty much narcissistic and do not have the developed ability to love. Narcissistic people often hide their ambitions behind the sacrifice for the benefit of their families. But this is nonsense because it is about the ridiculous overestimation of the value of ambition and underestimation of children. A successful career and money cannot bring as much benefit as the neglect of the development of children bring disadvantages to all. Children who do not receive enough care and love become emotional invalids who do not know how to love and become long-term problems for themselves, for their parents and society. It is not impossible that the children learn how to love later in their lives, but in an alienated society in which we live today, it very rarely happens.

Instead of love, parents today exercise far more pressure on children to obey their will in the name of “higher interests.” Parents who have not developed the love in them cannot objectively see the needs of their children. Parents, by their pressuring, actually alienate children from their nature, and of course, reduce their chance to get to know love. When children oppose the will of adults, they can easily be right because they are closer to their nature, and therefore, the resistance of young people should be respected.

The lack of love makes children feel powerless in today’s society. They are searching to find exits from their powerlessness, and apparently, they see them in the illusions of television, films and computer games. All of these media in the first place represent animal instincts of a society alienated from its nature and profit interests of the owners of media, and as such, they are opposed to the natural needs of the community. For children who do not receive enough care and love, their role models become fierce heroes in movies, and they become the heroes in brutal computer games.

Children in computer games usually kill thousands of “enemies” daily. With such “success,” they compensate for the powerlessness in the society in which they live and build an illusion of their power. The illusion of power compensates for the spiritual poverty in which they live and brings tremendous alienated satisfaction. And when parents ban children from spending too much time before computers, while not providing almost anything except the requirements and obligations, the children perceive it as a violation of their privileges.

A long time ago, parents spent a lot of time with their children and gave love. In those times, the father was the highest authority to his child. Today, children almost do not see their parents every day, and the father is not the biggest, the strongest or smartest role model and mother is not a caring person who gives warmth. Then the whole of society can easily disturb them.

In Columbine High School in Colorado, USA, two boys decided to eliminate such disturbance and killed 13 classmates and wounded 21. Someone at school probably made fun of these boys who acquired the illusion of power through brutal computer games, and this became unbearable humiliation to them. This hurt their narcissism and made them question why they had practiced their shooting abilities if they had never tried them. They would show their “skills” and let everyone see who they harm. Then they transfer their games into reality and become murderers. Those were children who have not grown up in financial poverty but in the absence of love. One should not be very smart to assume what kind of future the generations that are grown without love should expect.

If parents do not fulfill their parental duties in the upbringing of children, then it is most likely too late for the productive development of children. Then only psychiatrists or oppressive state apparatus can somewhat help. Now you are probably wondering where the boundary in upbringing that divides responsible and irresponsible parents towards the future of their children is? This border is defined by the knowledge that is the fruit of equal human rights. This is a state where parents will learn how to love and where children will be loved. Then the children will return the love. I’ve defined a system that will achieve such a society. This system will shorten the working hours of parents so that they will be able to spend more time with their children. The next condition for the healthy upbringing of children is for parents to find love in themselves, because only then will they be able to behave appropriately with children. The system that I’ve proposed will enable it. People will live real lives without illusions; they will be satisfied with their lives and will be able to love. This system will completely change people.

In such a world, people will love and will not be interested in watching cruel movies and will not have models for evil behaviour. Loved children will not have the need to play brutal computer games. I believe that in the system that I have proposed weapons will be destroyed entirely. The people will decide. The system I’ve suggested is the final exit from the brutal world today.

Homosexual love

The homosexual relationship is not a natural connection. Homosexuals most likely build their unnatural orientation on narcissism that can be developed in a manner that requests a close emotional bond between the members of the same sex. The love between the members of the same sex is not a problem. The problem is the sexual relationship between members of the same sex.

Everyone who thinks about the homosexual relationship for a long time indeed develops the desire to investigate sex with same-sex members. Given that the homosexual orientation was until recently prohibited or very shameful, homosexuals have hidden their sexual desire. Because of that, I think homosexuals were unhappy people. The enormous pressure of forbidden desires and long-term suffering resulting from the inability to achieve their homosexual relations established the homosexual orientation of such people. After that, the first homosexual experience brings incredible happiness and strengthens the homosexual orientation of such a man. I am convinced that if homosexuality were not forbidden, that homosexuals would be less intensely homosexually oriented. This claim may be confirmed by any forbidden love between a man and a woman. If their relationship is undesirable or prohibited by their families for any reason, such a relationship raises passion. Restricting love is counterproductive. The same applies to homosexuals.

I do not believe that the sexual act is crucial for homosexuals because the sexual act in heterosexual relationships is not crucial either. Far more important is love. This opens the possibility that homosexuals in a healthy, natural environment without any pressure may become interested in the heterosexual relationship. The problem begins, and the solution lies in mind.

Members of the same sex who live together should have all the equal rights as married people except the right to name their relationship as “marriage” because it is not natural. Language should be rich enough to distinguish between natural and unnatural sexual relations. Homosexuals oppose it very emotionally, because they suffered by hiding their sexual orientation, and it is essential to them that their homosexual relationship is accepted by society. It would be better for them to take the fact that their relationship is unnatural because it would increase the possibility of returning to a natural state. A natural state can achieve a stronger and more lasting joy of life.

Freedom of choice of orientation should be a cornerstone of every society. Let the freedom of choice show people what is best for them alone. What is best for free people is best for the community as well. I think that homosexuality is undeveloped love just as falling in love. Developed love is not even necessarily sexual. When people learn to love, they will return to their nature, and that will significantly reduce or maybe even end homosexuality. I wrote more about it in the article Homosexuality.

I think that all people will find that marriage between a man and a woman is the best solution. They will find a person who objectively suits them best for marriage. They would love such a person very much, but yes, they would love the whole world as well. Love is not exclusive. Only a narcissistic man can love only one person and be utterly indifferent to other people all over the world. The person who loves, loves the whole world.

Love needs freedom and equal rights of people 

People who do not have the freedom to live following their nature, as well as people who always need someone to lead them through life, can hardly love. If you obey your teacher, boss, or president because they possess an oppressive apparatus that makes you afraid of them; therefore, you cannot love them. If you are a big fan of any authority or idol; if you admire your great president, a singer or football player, if you study your idols more than you try to understand yourself, that is idolatry and not love. Idolatry is a consequence of an underdeveloped personality that depends on authorities.

An alienated society does not permit the development of people because authorities base their power and profit on the powerlessness of people. Today, the most severe world media is more engaged with the development of idolatry, then with an objective analysis of the situation in the world. Public media rarely deals seriously and honestly with analyzing the situation in the world, and because of it, we live in the dark. The result of it is the glorifying of inequality among people. It does not matter if you follow and support authorities because you are afraid of them or adore them as idols; you carry in yourself elements of masochism and a reduced ability to love. A man who loves has equal respect for all people and thus can be recognized.

There is a fine line between the two groups of evil, between supremacy and powerlessness, between masochism and sadism, between inferiority and superiority, between obedience and narcissistic authoritarianism. People have a hard time staying on this line because they slip left or right very quickly. If people realize some success in society, they can easily slide to superior narcissism, and any failure forces them to move into inferior obedience. This thin line between two evils is called objectivity and equality between self-conscious people, and it presents the only possible healthy orientation of society. All my effort in creating a better society can be quickly clarified by the wish to convince people that it is the best choice for everyone to be on this good line. When I succeed in it, the line will become so wide that people will not be able to fall from it anymore. Then society will no longer have social problems. It will become capable of loving.

All the ways of improving society must be based on liberating people from the influences of wrong authorities and alienated values that these authorities have imposed throughout history. This is the so-called process of disalienation. Freedom of reassessing the rules which authorities have imposed on societies for centuries will liberate the people of alienation. Through their practices, free people will find out what real values are, and they will be retained, and in contrast, those which are not will be eliminated. In that manner, people will become self-confident members of society. To achieve that goal, we practically need to demystify virtually all authorities around the world. How? In the first place by giving equal rights to all of the people at all levels of social relations. People must accept the thesis that the nature of society has a foundation based on the freedom and equality of the people.

But wait a moment, haven’t we people today already had equal rights after the development and acceptance of equal human, civil, legal, constitutional, and other equal rights all over the world? Of course, we have not! It is only formal equality and propaganda of the wrong authorities. The president of your country may send you to war, and you cannot do it to him. Your boss may abuse or fire you, and you cannot do it to him. Your teacher may force you to accept knowledge, and you cannot do it to him. Where are the equal rights there? Now you probably think that is entirely normal because you have been living in such a society from ever. I claim that this is not normal!


The system I have proposed offers each man full independence, freedom of expression and action under the condition that such freedom of speech and action cannot bring other people disadvantages. The system will force people to respect each other. That will be achieved by the system of mutual evaluation. I have called it democratic anarchy. Each person will have an equal right to evaluate the activity of any other person. Each positive assessment will automatically bring a small award to the assessed person, and each negative evaluation will result in the punishment of the same form.

Let’s the rewards and punishments have an equivalent value of one dollar. Each award a person receives from somebody will bring them one dollar and each penalty will take away one dollar from them. In that manner, all people will become the same authorities who have a small direct power in society. Democratic anarchy will direct each member of society to respect other people. People will become values to all people. They will create the most significant possible advantages for the community and diminish or abolish the creation of all forms of disadvantages.

Technically watching this looks much like love because love is based on indiscriminately caring for others and in giving. But it is still not love. Once the implementation of this system starts, the people would probably not feel satisfaction in the very act of giving and therefore, that would not be love. In the beginning, the pleasure will come from the egotistic need of getting good evaluations from the people and from avoiding bad assessment. However, it will be beneficial because people will be creating advantages and avoid making disadvantages for all society.

Democratic anarchy will eliminate privileges. I have to stress that the privileged status of individuals causes the greatest inconveniences and problems for society. Democratic anarchy will teach people that no matter what kind of success they achieve in their lives, they must not forget that they are equal members of society. This will liberate people from narcissism and enable the development of love.


Freedom and equality should be introduced in production relations. In the final stage of acceptance of the new system I have proposed, people will accept equality in the production processes. It will be realized when people accept a permanent open competition as the right of workers to work in any job post in public companies at any time. The worker who offers the highest productivity at the desired work post at any time will get the right to work.

I know that such a division of labour sounds impossible because it never existed. But its realization is just a technical problem. I have developed an economic system that will effectively evaluate the productivity of work offers, harmonize rewards for work, and define the job responsibilities of workers. This will be the best economy possible because no economy can be more productive than the one where each job gets the best available worker. It will be nothing else but a developed labour market. It will take a long time for society to develop and embrace such a labour market, it cannot be established quickly, but once people recognize the right path, nothing will be able to get them off that path.

The work competition will significantly increase competition among people. Shortly before, I mentioned in this article that competition destroys love. Does this mean that I am against love? No, no way. I am for abolishing the competitions, but they cannot be removed in any other way than by understanding that the competitions are wrong and unnecessary. The idea assumes that the open competition for each work post would demystify the importance of each job, which will reduce competitive interest. Also, increasing the total number of competitions will saturate the competing interest of workers, which will enable them to find real values of their nature.

The work competition will abolish all the privileges of authorities in the production processes and demystify their working abilities. It will be especially important to demystify the ability of authorities in politics and economy, where the largest source of alienated power in society is located. Probably the most significant professional success today is to become a president of a country because such a position gives the privileges that have an almost mystical value in society. To be able to compete for the right to get the job of a country president, the competitors will need to offer the highest possible productivity of the whole country. It could be measured by Gross domestic product, by the satisfaction of people, etc. The best offer will get the job.

The new system will develop an entirely new form of responsibility of the workers that will hardly punish the president if he does not fulfill his promises. It will be a harder punishment than is the responsibility of private capital for its entrepreneurship today.

The new system envisages a new highly developed polyfunctional system of responsibility of the workers. Among other things, it will be based on mutual ratings of people. The higher the position an authority has in society, the greater the responsibility they would bare to society.

For example, The President of the US might get 100,000,000 bad evaluations from the American people for bad policies, lies, and criminal aggression on countries. That would cost him 100,000,000 dollars in only one month. Non-privileged presidents would no longer dare perform bad policies anymore. They certainly will not dare to call on wars or to develop nationalism, fascisms or similar social problems anymore. And if presidents fail to meet people’s needs, they would run away from their positions very fast. Only the most skilful and brave individuals would dare lead countries. They will not be authorities anymore, but our servants.

The labour market will demystify the attraction of the state president positions. All public work posts will be equally demanded, and this will undoubtedly reduce the competing interests of workers. Then people will base their relations more on an agreement and less on the competition. More about the new division of labour you can find in my book Humanism – A Philosophic-Ethical-Political-Economic Study of the Development of the Society.

Competition of workers at all work posts will remove privileges and thus enable demystification of the skills of workers who work in these positions. And there is no other right path. As long as privileges exist, wrong authorities will exist as well as obedient people who follow them. As long as privileges exist, there cannot be a developed love and a good future for humankind. Removed privileges will remove the main nest of narcissism. Equality is a sufficient condition for the formation of a good society and the creation of love. Equality is also the only solution to all of the problems of society today and a fundamental condition for the establishment of love. Love is a product of equal rights of people.

When people accept equal human rights, they will all rely on their power for satisfying their individual needs while respecting other people. That would develop the conscience of productive people. Then under-developed people would no longer exist. Then no one would admire a president, singer or football player more than any other person; not one idol will exist anymore. Then neither powerful nor powerless people would exist, then wrong authorities and their humble followers would not exist, then sadism and masochism will no longer exist. That will overcome the enormous alienation in which we live in today.

The man who loves does not necessarily have to be happy and satisfied, but it is preferable to be happy and satisfied to be able to love more. The responsibility before the people that the new system proposes will teach people to set their needs following their possibilities of satisfying them. This is the chief prerequisite for overcoming destructiveness in society because people who consistently meet their needs are satisfied and not destructive. Then society will develop a new culture that will create a productive orientation of people.

Developed love 

Productive orientation is unknown in today’s society, and therefore, love is rare today. The new system will enable a complete productive orientation of people. The new system will free the people from all forms of alienation that the authorities have imposed throughout history, and people will learn to live following their nature. What does it mean concretely? The lives of people freed from the pressures of authorities will allow a demystification of values that authorities have imposed throughout history. Firstly, ideologies will fall. People will explore and discover natural ways of life. Such an experience will demystify idols and fetishes. Authorities will lose power over people, money and goods will lose their alienated values. Person to person will become the prime value. People will have an increased need to pay attention and show concern for others, to develop friendships and brotherhoods. The new system will enlighten people. Then society will start creating love in its best and most beautiful form. Love is the final result of the system I have proposed. Once people start loving each other, they will create an entirely new world and benefits that are beyond the wildest dreams in the alienated society of today.

Developed people do not depend on anybody because they could achieve everything they need on their own; they love other people unconditionally just because they are. They find great satisfaction in free productive living, in building themselves as productive people and even greater joy in love.


At the end I would like to help you answer the question, do you love? If you dislike this article, then you are most likely narcissistic, and therefore you do not know love enough. If you try to repair your opinion now by finding the parts you do like, it will not help. You cannot gain any benefit from self-cheating. The more narcissistic you are, the worse your life is. If it is essential for you to hide it, you are even more narcissistic and less able to love, and even less able to find the joy of life. Narcissus allegedly drowned in the lake because he did not learn how to swim.

If you like this article, please recommend it to your friends. This article suggests a bright future of humanity.


The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of this site. This site does not give financial, investment or medical advice.

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John Ellis
July 16, 2020

Love is a state of mind based on the equality
of people, mutual care, and eagerly giving help.”

As the police enable the more educated and mostly white upper-half of society to hoard all the land, wealth, healthcare, political power and 98% of guns, the upper-half has such a sadistic passionate affection for such legalized killers, that the police budget is a cities largest expense.

On the other hand, real and harmless love is to have compassion and give charity to those in need in a way that best produces a grateful response.
For giving charity to ingrates only inflates pride.

John Ellis
July 16, 2020

“Love develops from childhood. Love is learned the same way children learn how to walk or talk.” Love starts with a conviction that we deserve nothing, that we own nothing and that everything we have belongs to those who have less. And because the purpose of planet earth is to reach the ultimate conclusion of a world without love, the vast majority are born with a conviction that they deserve to enrich themselves upon the misery of those with less education or less whiteness of skin. And so, the one billion least educated are now suffering death by starvation, all… Read more »

John Ellis
July 16, 2020

Love needs freedom and equal rights of people”

Quite the reverse, For if everyone was born with equal intelligence, giving everyone an equal ability to accumulate wealth, love would be impossible. For no one would be in need of compassion or charity, and nothing you could do for someone would be worthy of gratitude.

And that is why we are all given a different level of intelligence. For love is having compassion and giving charity to those in need, in a way that best produces a grateful response.

John Ellis
Reply to  Aleksandar Sarovic
July 16, 2020

Everyone being born with unequal intelligence, this requires that everyone have unequal and different rights.
The 25% most intelligent ruling-class deserve the sole right to rule as only they have the intelligence to rule.
Your 25% educated middle-class, they deserve the right to supervise and to be a go-between class that bonds society together in harmony.
My slow of thought laboring-class, we deserve the right to do all the manual labor for a living wage.

John Ellis
July 16, 2020

Romans 13
“Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices
with the truth. Love always protects…”

Above is an aspect of love that this article completely omits, for only those who have a love for the truth have any capacity to do real and beneficial good.

July 17, 2020

The Greeks had three words for love; agape, philos and Eros.

John Ellis
Reply to  Aleksandar Sarovic
July 17, 2020

“Greater agape has no man,
than to lay down his life for a friend.”

John Ellis
July 17, 2020

To give without expecting something in return.

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