The Duran
The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of this site. This site does not give financial, investment or medical advice.
More than 40% of men today suffer from it—and their loved ones pay the price.
It’s called “toxic masculinity,” and it’s the latest disease to plague the nation. It can affect every aspect of a toxic man’s life. Worst of all, toxic masculinity is contagious, so if you’re infected, you need to know right away so you can avoid spreading it to your friends and family.
Are you or a loved one suffering from toxic masculinity? Know the warning signs so you can seek help:
- Even the faintest whisper of facial hair – If you have a mustache, schedule a check-up. If you find a goatee on your face, consider going into the emergency room. If you have a full-grown beard, well, it’s probably too late for you.
- A belief that men and women are at least a little bit different – Should you be infected with the cancerous idea that men and women are even the slightest bit different from one another, you could have toxic masculinity. If you’re a woman who believes this, then you suffer from an even worse disease called internalized misogyny.
- Throwing a professional wrestler off a steel cage right through the announcer’s table – Men who suddenly look around and find that they’re tossing a professional wrestler off a steel cage to plummet right through the announcer’s table are at high risk of developing toxic masculinity. If a man in your life is suffering from this symptom, encourage him to stop wrestling in the WWE immediately.
- Eating meat on occasion – A disease like toxic masculinity can quickly change your diet. If you find yourself leaving your vegan avocado quinoa toast smoothies untouched in favor of wolfing down some bacon-wrapped bacon, you might have toxic masculinity.
- Holding the door open for a woman once in a while – It looks innocent enough: a woman approaches, and you hold the door so she doesn’t have to open it again. Seems like common courtesy, right? WRONG. It’s one of the first warning signs of toxic masculinity, and you need to do better if you’re going to beat this thing. One way to reduce your toxic masculinity is to slam the door right in a woman’s face and scream, “EQUALITY!!!” through the glass when she glares at you.
- Yelling stuff about freedom and charging into battle wearing blue face paint – If you find yourself charging into battle against the English wearing blue face paint in the 14th century, you might be beyond medical help. Do all of society a favor and get yourself drawn and quartered so no one else catches this contagious illness.
- Being a man who doesn’t hate himself – This is the most telling sign. If you’re a biological male and you don’t hate yourself, toxic masculinity is already coursing through your veins. If there’s going to be any hope of recovery, you need to begin hating yourself today.
If you or your man are showing one or more of these symptoms, contact your medical professional today. Get help, before it’s too late.
The statements, views and opinions expressed in this column are solely those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of this site. This site does not give financial, investment or medical advice.
Vive la difference !!! I so luv to be toxic, ma chere
Oh Dear! Anyone hear the report that we need to eat no more than 7g of red meat a day and ultimately turn vegan to save the planet by not eating an unsustainable supply of animals that pass wind and destroy the planet, deforesting through grazing, so we must deforest and plant pulses and fruit trees because meat is unsustainable.
https://news.sky.com/story/cut-down-on-red-meat-to-save-the-planet-and-cut-premature-deaths-say-experts-11609337
My first thought was now discuss toxic femininity.
When we all get the joke it is a sign that cultural-marxism (politically correct) is passed the peak of influence and heading down.
And how did all these poor toxic males get infected if not from involuntary, casual contact with some Antifa/BLM/LGBTQ/feminist female?
Let’s beat the disease at its root. I suggest a new social movement: Rally back to social sanity.
Sanity will cure toxic masculinity and aberrant females in no time!
This whole topic is so stupid it doesn’t even deserve to be addressed. These social activism themes are meant to be be divisive and pointless. Flush all this waist down the toilet along with the 71 sexual id’s and other nonsense. If media wants us paying attention to useless themes, what do they not want us to see?
Media want to detract us from wars, tax hikes, joblessness and other important topics …
LOL ~ and then there are the ‘real’ women of this screwed-up world who do naturally (albeit secretly) like masculine men and are turned on by them behind their pussy-whipped cuckold husband’s back!!
Forgive my naivete but…who came up with this? Is this supposed to be funny? Or just something to amuse us while distracting us from something more important?
I agree. This article seems to be out of place here. The choice of topic is strange. The Duran is not a tabloid, at least it was not – up to now.