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How Russia hacked the British election

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Last month, acting Russian Envoy to the United Nations Vladimir Safronkov slammed Britain’s Ambassador to the UN for lying about the realities in Syria, insulting Russia and deviously scheming to create deadlock between the US and Russia after the election of well known Putin agent Donald Trump of the Autonomous Oblast of Manhattan.

Today, Russia extracted vengeance on Britain by bringing the deadlock back to the UK. Whereas Russia typically rigs elections using masterful hacking devices in order to put Vladimir Putin’s personal friends and occasional horse riding buddies into power in small countries like the United States, Putin had something more subtle but even more devastating in store for the British Empire.

Unlike in the US election where the KGB did not bother to hide its very Russian IP address when hacking the vote, in the UK, Vladimir Putin logged onto his Russian state-owned computer and made sure that the UK’s election would result in a hung parliament.

Just to be clear, as Putin’s army of super-hackers don’t advocate violence, a hung parliament is just a phrase which means that no party has an overall majority, it has nothing to do with the kind of hanging that a US show trial sentenced Saddam Hussein to.

State run British broadcaster BBC are being snobby in not yet accusing Russia of meddling in the election but they will do so soon according to Kremlin spokesman Dmitry Peskov.

Publicly, Russia has urged the British regime to meet the demands of the moderate rebels led by Shiekh Jeremy Cor’ban al-Londoni, while both the United States and Russia maintain contacts with the Scottish Democratic Forces who still control large parts of oil rich northern Britain.

The political instability has caused the Pound to fall on international markets, causing the Islamic Republic of Iran to offer food and medicine to its traditional adversary.

Websites supporting Hezbollah have all ready written a statement siding with moderate rebels against the Saudi puppet regime in London.

This comes as Vladimir Putin welcomed Pakistan and India into the Shanghai Cooperation Organisation, something the British regime calls an illegal annexation which threatens the territorial integrity of the British Empire.

Ukrainian strongman Petro Poroshenko has promised to send NATO troops into Asia to defend the British Empire from Shanghai Cooperation Organisation annexation though Rex Tillerson has urged calm saying that Ukraine isn’t actually in NATO and that the United States is monitoring the situation closely.

Hillary Clinton has issued a statement saying she could have won the British election if:

–she ran in it

–she wasn’t a victim of a vast alt-right conspiracy 

–she wasn’t the victim of sexism 

–she wasn’t the victim of Russian hacking

Julian Assange has insisted that Wikileaks has nothing to do with the hacking, something which Sergey Lavrov backed up in a statement leaked by James Comey to British propaganda bullhorn BBC.

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Trump to Tsipras: You're fired!

Trump completes hostile takeover of Greek government: Tsipras fired, SYRIZA-led government and MPs ousted, new elections coming.

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He’s out!
In a development catching the political world by surprise, U.S. president Donald Trump announced to the world via Twitter this morning that Greek prime minister Alexis Tsipras has been fired, effective immediately. Trump tweeted:

“Flew in to Athens this morning on AF1 and met with Alexis Tsipras. Told him “YOU’RE FIRED.” #Greece deserves better. We’re going to Make Greece Great Again.”

In a follow up tweet, Trump elaborated:

“Know all about hostile takeovers from the business world. We are not hostile towards #Greece but when leadership is failing they have to go. Must go. Tsipras has been FIRED. Make Greece Great Again! #MGGA”

In a press conference at the Maximou Mansion in Athens shortly afterward, Trump stated:

“I ran for president of the United States of America on a pledge to drain the swamp. It’s a difficult job but I’m the man for the job. The swamp has ruled Greece for far too long and it’s time to put a stop to this and make our friend and ally, Greece, great again. We are going to get down to business starting now and we will Make Greece Great Again.
My administration will get down to work, Eric [Trump] is going to be in charge of day-to-day operations and I’ll spend my weekends here, fixing this mess.
We will hold new elections and the Greek people will be freed from the swamp, which has ruled for far too long. Way too long. We know fake news is a yuge problem in Greece, except for those guys from Hellenic Insider whom I read every day. We are going to fight back against fake news. There will be no more fake news.
We are going to oust the EU and troika swamp as well. The Greek people deserve their country back. They deserve their currency back, their future back. We are going to tell the EU and the troika that they are out. They are fired. This is going to be yuge, very yuge, and we are going to bring Greece back again and Make Greece Great Again.”

When asked about the status of Alexis Tsipras and his cabinet, Trump said:

“Silly Alex Tsipras is under house arrest at this time, as are the members of his government and many members of parliament past and present. From several parties. They will be tried for their actions against the Greek people and this proud country. Greece gave us democracy, and we will bring in fresh blood, Greek blood, capable Greeks, and only Greeks, to make Greece Great Again. Tsipras is fired, little Sack O’ Lottos [referring to Euclid Tsakalotos] is fired, the inexcusable Kotzias and Kammenos are fired, they are all FIRED effective immediately. SYRIZA is out.
I know that you have had some issues with Turkey but I like to make deals. It’s called art of the deal. We are in talks to trade Tsipras and some others to Turkey for your two soldiers. We will get down to business, we will make it happen, we will Make Greece Great Again, we will bring them home.”

Alexis Tsipras keeping busy while under house arrest.


Trump also added some levity to the situation. When asked how he will handle the provisional duties of running Greece, he quipped:

Used to eat at Greek restaurants in New York all the time, learned a lot of Greek from the owners of those places. My Greek is better than Silly Alex’s English, I can tell you that. Love Greek food, loved it in New York. Can’t wait to try yours. Can’t wait. I love Olympiacos as well, yuge, yuge team. The attacks against them will stop now. The only Grexit that will happen under my watch is exiting the eurozone which has hurt you for too long. Too long. We will make your teams great again.”

Alexis Tsipras, immediately following his firing by Donald Trump at the Maximou Mansion in Athens.


Tsipras has been in a catatonic state since his firing, not unlike the condition he was in during his meeting with former U.S. president Barack Obama. Rumors on the internets have also suggested that now former defense minister Panos Kammenos, during his arrest, begged to see Trump and asked for his autograph.
Russian president Vladimir Putin was the first world leader to congratulate Trump on his takeover, in a statement released by the Kremlin on Sunday afternoon. Describing Greece as a historic friend of Russia, he stated that he looked forward to developing new and closer ties with a stronger Greece, adding his hope that this takeover will lead to a new era of more positive relations between Russia and the western world.
Relax! This is satire. Laugh, it’s good for you!

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Unhinged: Turkey's top model threatens Greece with "Ottoman slap"

Following in the proud footsteps of Turkey’s mad sultan, Turkish top model Merve Akanat declines an invitation to Athens Fashion Week, offers an “Ottoman slap” instead.

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First it was the mad sultan, Turkish president Tayyip Erdoğan, threatening the United States with an “Ottoman slap.”
When that didn’t work out exactly as planned, Turkey’s top model took up the cause.
Merve Akanat, the recent winner of the Top Model of Turkey content, stated recently that she turned down a proposal to participate in Athens Fashion Week later this month, apparently as the result of Greece’s stance towards Turkey:

“I received a proposal for the Fashion Week in Athens on March 30th. But I recently dismissed it because of Greece’s attitude towards my country.
Greece must know that we are grandson of Ottomans. We know to stretch an olive branch, but also to give an Ottoman slap wherever it should.”

The use of the expression “Ottoman slap” is not without its symbolism. What exactly is it? Here’s an explanation:

“[T]he punch was regarded as something that a woman would do, it had to be a slap to the face if you were a real man. These fighters would allegedly toughen their hands by slapping clay, bark or marble and legend has it they could crack a skull.”

It remains unclear whether Akanat’s “Ottoman slap” will be delivered directly from her own hands, with the aid of a strap, or whether mad sultan Erdoğan will be enlisted to do the honors.
Opinions expressed are those of the author alone and may not reflect the opinions and viewpoints of Hellenic Insider, its publisher, its editors, or its staff, writers, and contributors.

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It is election day in Russia

And we thought it would be interesting to collect some thoughts of the Russian people as they go to the polls today

Seraphim Hanisch

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Today, March 18th, Russians everywhere go to the voting locations to pick their candidate of choice for the President of the Russian Federation. This will be a six-year post.

A Russian friend of mine sent me this, and it seemed to capture the attitude and mood many people here feel about their own country and about the behavior of the United States. From the first meme, I found others that worked along the same lines. There are many but we included just ones with the cleanest language.

So, we hope you all enjoy it.

Translation: Let’s all go to the elections. We elected the US President. Let’s elect the President of Russia!

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